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- Clay and AD are clearly into each other, but they have some major compatibility problems.
- AD said she's a "fix-a-ho" and feels she doesn't deserve love.
- Not to mention, Clay appears fixated on physical appearance and getting better for AD — not himself.
Warning: Spoilers ahead for the first nine episodes of "Love Is Blind" season six.
Clay Gravesande and Amber Desiree "AD" Smith might be "Love Is Blind" season six's most polarizing couple.
There's no doubt that the two have chemistry. But building a relationship on physical attraction runs directly counter to the premise of "Love Is Blind," which requires couples to fall in love without seeing each other first.
Despite the premise being right there in the show's title, Clay isn't even remotely pretending that looks don't matter to him. He's also said a number of troubling things to AD, from his doubts over whether he can be faithful long-term to his insistence that she get to the gym to "get right" if she ever gets out of shape — or, heaven forbid, pregnant — in the future.
AD, on the other hand, seems fully aware of Clay's issues. Unfortunately, awareness of a problem doesn't mean the problem is fixed. AD, a self-proclaimed "fix-a-ho," appears to think she can fundamentally change Clay in the two weeks they have before getting married. And Clay seems to think he can change for AD too.
Whether that'll happen remains to be seen. But in the meantime, here's a rundown of all the biggest red flags in Clay and AD's relationship.
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Moments into their first pod date, Clay and AD discuss their ages. AD is a bit older, at 32, and Clay, who's 30, says that he was "trying to hold on to 29 for as long as possible."
AD tries to reassure him that "it's only up from here," but Clay changes the subject. It's giving immaturity.
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In an early pod date, Clay mentions that he's thinking of getting a cat. AD says she's terrified of cats, which is another issue, but she quickly latches on to what Clay says about not needing to show cats love all the time.
"That's a problem," she says before turning the conversation toward herself and how his lack of affection may affect his affection toward her. "I will bring it to your attention."
Clearly, affirmations of love are important to AD, and Clay doesn't seem interested in lavishing that kind of assurance on someone. That's not necessarily a bad thing on either of their parts; it's just a red flag of incompatibility.
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In the second episode, AD says that Clay feels like home — but also reminds her of all the guys she's dated.
She also dubs herself a "fix-a-ho," meaning she's up for fixing broken partners. That's never a good sign.
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In the first episode, Clay and AD's connection grows stronger and seems on par with her other connection, Matthew.
Unfortunately, things go off the rails when Clay makes it very clear that, despite the entire foundation of this experiment, he needs to be physically attracted to his wife.
He tries to convince AD to tell him what she looks like and even lists out the attributes, like lips and butt, he particularly favors. AD is aghast and rightly points out that this goes against the entire point of "Love Is Blind."
More importantly, she has already said she wants someone to desire her for more than just her physical appearance.
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The entire conversation between AD and Clay when she explains that she also formed a relationship with Matthew in the pods, doesn't go well at all.
Clay gets irritated and tells AD she'd regret picking Matthew. He seems irate that AD might like anyone else as much as she likes him. (The ego, he freely admits, is real.)
AD reassures Clay that she does like him. "It's not that I don't like you like that. I had a stronger connection, and maybe it was just stronger in my head," she says.
Clay pulls it back in the end, saying he still wants to make this work with her and admitting that hearing about AD's feelings for another man messed with his ego a little bit — and this dude is all ego. Still, it's not a great sign that AD felt more connected to someone else at first or that Clay's jealousy gets the better of him so quickly.
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While this sounds great on a surface level, it's actually not good. True improvement and lasting change doesn't typically occur unless you're doing it for yourself, not for another person.
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Clay's fixation on physical appearance eases off once he meets AD in person and is assured that she is, in fact, super hot. Unfortunately, it pops up again during the couples' trip to the Dominican Republic when they start talking about their eating habits.
Clay mentions that he doesn't watch what he eats and thinks AD's fab body also comes naturally. She corrects him, saying she works hard to achieve her great body. This distressingly pivots to a conversation about how Clay will insist AD get back into the gym if she ever starts getting out of shape.
And yes, that includes during pregnancy. Yikes.
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In episode six, AD says she's been stuck in a toxic cycle in her romantic relationships. "The same things keep happening to me over and over and over," she tells Clay. She says that in therapy, she realized that a lot of her relationship issues stem from her relationship with her dad.
While it's great that AD is aware of her dating issues and where they stem from, it doesn't sound like she's resolved to move past what's keeping her stuck in a pattern.
"I get into relationships, and I just feel like everything I've done was just never enough," she says, adding that she doesn't deserve love.
Clay passionately reassures her that she does, of course, deserve love, which is very sweet. But there's only so much convincing someone can do if she doesn't believe it herself.
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In episode seven, Clay tells AD about his "suave dad." He recalls how his father would take Clay along with him on "infidelity trips," where he'd go somewhere to cheat on Clay's mom.
He admits he struggles with the idea of just being with one woman, pointing to how the successful Black men he looks up to also have publicized affairs.
"I've never seen a Black relationship where the man is faithful," Clay tells AD.
Interestingly, AD isn't very alarmed by this. Her confidence seems to assure her that this is something they can get through, and she doesn't appear to be concerned that Clay will cheat on her even though he's essentially saying, "I'm afraid I will one day cheat on you."
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This just seems… kind of mean? Does she not think he reads?
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When AD meets Clay's mom and sister in episode nine, they ask her how she feels about his work schedule and how often he works long hours.
She admits she struggles with it and sometimes feels like he chooses "convenience and comfort" over returning to their home and not prioritizing their relationship in the time he has off.
Clay's career (his boat and Jet Ski rental company) is extremely important to him and says he puts a lot of stock in his work.
"If the love is there, you make the time," Clay's mom, the real MVP, tells them.
The next two episodes of "Love Is Blind" season six air on February 28.
from Business Insider https://ift.tt/EoktLRZ
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